pitch.com | The Wussies of Oz:

Munchkin No. 1: But our friend Kris Kobach says you had no right to tell us how much more mon­ey to spend! He says you can only tell us that our plan is no good and go make us do it again!

Glin­da: What are you whin­ing about now? Who’s Kris Kobach?

Bar­ris­ter Munchkin: I am! And this is a con­sti­tu­tion­al cri­sis! Lis­ten to me, every­one! Munchkin­land is in a con­sti­tu­tion­al crisis!

Glin­da: Hey, pret­ty boy, you have no pow­er here. Be gone, before some­body drops a house on you, too.

Bar­ris­ter Munchkin: But I must be heard! I tell you, fel­low Munchkins, she had no right to tell you to spend an addi­tion­al $143 mil­lion beyond the $142 mil­lion increase you already approved. This is not the prop­er role of a witch! In fact, she is that worst sort of crea­ture — an activist witch!

Glin­da: Oh, please. I have every right to do what I did. Their own study showed that they should be spend­ing $853 mil­lion a year more than they already spend to address the inequities and prob­lems in our schools. But I’m not stu­pid. I know the school sys­tem could hard­ly absorb near­ly a bil­lion dol­lars in increas­es in a sin­gle year with­out wast­ing a good por­tion of it. So I chose a rea­son­able frac­tion — a third — and added it to next year’s budget.

Bar­ris­ter Munchkin: But you can’t do that! Only the Munchkins in the Leg­is­la­ture can appro­pri­ate the peo­ple’s mon­ey! You can only tell them that their plan is uncon­sti­tu­tion­al and make them do it over again!

Glin­da: What? So they can add a sin­gle freak­ing dol­lar to the bud­get, say they did their job, and send it back to me again? No, I’m tired of the games. And all of this jerk­ing off is only hurt­ing school­child­ren who should­n’t have to wait for the leg­isla­tive Munchkins to get their act togeth­er. This has been going on for six years, and I don’t remem­ber you being around for all the headaches we’ve been through already. Who are you, any­way? Aren’t you that lit­tle con­ser­v­a­tive wing nut who took a drub­bing in the last election?

Bar­ris­ter Munchkin: Waaaaah! Con­sti­tu­tion­al cri­sis! Con­sti­tu­tion­al crisis!

I picked the part par­o­dy­ing Kris Kobach, because I like any­thing that makes fun of him.

What a putz.