Death’s Door explains how it is, and enters the con­test :

So please tell me and be sure to speak real slow in that voice that only retards and small chil­dren of ques­tion­able lin­eage under­stand. How is it that instead of doing this in the mutha­fuckin Mid­dle Ages or maybe dur­ing the Indus­tri­al Age when it made sense instead of now in the fuckin year 2005, our courts and politi­cos are open­ly debat­ing “intel­li­gent design” as an alter­na­tive to evo­lu­tion? Can some­one please fill a mutha­fuck­er in on when things went bat­shit crazy and the fuckin Pod Peo­ple took over? Cause I must’a been in the bath­room, I’m just sayin and shit.

Oh, oh, and the first per­son that tells me that the shit is even debat­able gets called a cock­suck­er. No, no, let me rephrase that. The first per­son that tells me that (and I’m doin the fin­ger thingie here) “intel­li­gent design” needs to be taught in the fuckin schools gets called a cock­suck­er. You crazy Ter­ri Schi­a­vo get­ting up moon­walkin fucks. Isn’t this what the fuckin church­es are for, to preach god­speak and shit like that? Isn’t that why folks go to church?

Trust me, you don’t want to mess with this man. If he starts call­ing you names, you thank him and walk on.

Now some IDol­a­tors will point to any­one who says that design might be true and imme­di­ate­ly claim that this sup­ports their demands that it be treat­ed as sci­ence. What does Greg have to say?

And as far as I can tell, that’s what “intel­li­gent design” is all about isn’t it? That the world around us is too com­plex to have been born of some great “acci­dent”, that a great intel­li­gence designed every­thing. Answers to all the great mys­ter­ies that sur­round us, like why doesn’t our noses drip into our mouths or some such shit. And I’m fine with that. I’m so fuckin fine with that shit that it would sur­prise a muthafucker. 

But it belongs in the home and church, not in the schools. If when your stinkin bag­gy-pants wearin kids come home from school and you want to teach em that gods will emanates out’a the cat’s wrin­kled starfish look­ing ass­hole. That’s cool. And if your church teach­es you that “intel­li­gent design” (and I’m doin the fin­ger thingie again” is the way life hap­pened. That’s cool too. But to want to change all the books and bring it into the schools as an alter­na­tive to evo­lu­tion is what’s gonna bring on the fuckin zombies. 

So Greg may buy the design argu­ment in some grand the­o­log­i­cal sense (which I think is his God-giv­en and Con­sti­tu­tion­al­ly-pro­tect­ed right) but he thinks that these peo­ple are “cock­suck­ers” for try­ing to stretch it past that sphere.

There’s a lot to be said for the blunt truth.