Fortunately for Ezekiel Rubottom, there’s no law against keeping your severed foot in a bucket on the front porch.
Rubottom, a 21-year-old Lawrence resident, ex-pressed relief Monday after police gave him back his left foot, which he began storing in a five-gallon bucket of formaldehyde on the porch at 627 Conn. after it was amputated three weeks ago. Police seized the foot Saturday, thinking it could have been evidence of a crime, but returned it after verifying Rubottom was the rightful owner.
As the Improbable Researchers say, “Best opening line in a breaking news story.” Congratulations, Lawrence!
The guy had a clubbed foot, got a bone infection, kept the amputated foot. It was all just a misunderstanding.
Let that be a lesson to all you folks who like to keep spare parts lying around.
I’d make a joke about this guy being such a redneck that he doesn’t just have spare car parts out in his yard, but I have a dermoid cyst floating in alcohol right behind me (described back here), so I really can’t make any jokes about that.