FB: Let’s get right to it. Does the Constitution protect the right to an abortion?
ALITO: I’m open-minded on abortion, Fafnir. In fact I think it’s safe to say that just like every other recent Supreme Court nominee, I’ve managed to go through a decades-long law career while never actually giving any significant thought to abortion as a legal issue at all.
FB: You even kept up your open-mindedness on abortion rights while voting to restrict abortion rights!
ALITO: I didn’t vote to restrict abortion rights, Fafnir. I voted to expand a man’s right to co-own and operate his wife’s uterus.
FB: You managed to stay open-minded on abortion while you were writing that memo that said “the Constitution does not protect a right to an abortion”!
ALITO: Now, that one shouldn’t count — I believe at the time I was bodily possessed by then-Solicitor General Charles Fried.
ALITO: You know, people are focusing way too much on the triviality of things I’ve said or done or repeatedly expressed a strident ideological commitment to. I don’t let my legal opinions affect my legal decisions — I just follow the law, the Constitution, and the original intent of the Founding Fathers.
FB: So you don’t want to strip-search ten-year-old girls without a warrant. James Madison wants to strip-search ten-year-old girls without a warrant!
There’s also a discussion of originalist practice that’s not to be missed.