The truth revealed
PZ Myers explains his objection to religion:
the bible is inferior. No pirates. No cephalopods. No swashbuckling. No undead monkeys. No men with tentacles.
Those are fair points, but for Cosma Shalizi’s explanation of The Reason for the Season, with it’s link to a working paper from the Vampire Research group on Jesus Chthulu. In that scholarly work, it is observed that:
Jesus came from an area where the worship of the Magna Mater has been endemic for millennia…. Her connection with the mythos is well-known (see HPL, “The Rats in the Walls”); a consensus of learned opinion holds her to be Shubb-Niggurath. Some, such as Robert Graves in his The Greek Myths, have asserted that the name “Mary” derives from a title of this goddess. This does not necessarily imply that the Virgin was an extradimensional horror. She may merely have worshipped one.…
Besides His exorcisms and cures, most of Jesus’ miracles involve water — turning water into wine, multiplication of loaves and fishes, walking on water, etc.. Even the demons driven into swine were sent into the sea, possibly as an offering. Again, a large number of Cthulhoid entities are aquatic or amphibious, and may have been of assistance. He promised to make His disciples “fishers of men.” This is obviously a puzzled scribe’s redaction of “fish-men” — that is, Deep Ones. …
As to the lack of overly Cthulhoid elements in Christianity today, it should be noted that St. Paul, not one of the original group of disciples, had a major role in spread the faith. It is likely that, as a semi-outsider, he was not trusted with the full revelation in all its mind-shattering detail, misinterpreted what he was told, and proceeded to spread it from one end of the Roman Empire to the other.
O ye of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?