Shorter Matthew DeBord: If GM stops making the Hummer, the French will win WWII.
…it would be a mistake for GM … to sell the brand to an upstart carmaker in India or China or to breed it as a hybrid, as some have suggested. GM desperately needs an obnoxious, attention-grabbing brand to keep from turning into a dreary shadow of its former self. And America needs the Hummer to remind us of what has always made our automobiles stand out, from the tailfin 1950s to the muscle car 1960s and ’70s: swagger.
Also poor maintenance records, low fuel economy, and declining profits.
Americans don’t just drive their cars — they proclaim something about themselves by driving them.
For instance, DeBord clearly cares more about corporate jingoism than quality, long term costs in fuel and maintenance, or apparently the fiscal viability of General Motors.
It takes a certain kind of man — it’s almost always the owner of a Y chromosome — to take a gander at the Hummer, in all its broad, burly, paramilitary gas-guzzling glory, and see himself behind the wheel, striking fear and loathing in the hearts of ecologically sensitive motorists. … Every once in while, you see a little guy clambering out of a Hummer, painfully in need of a ladder, and you realize that it can also be viewed as a $57,000 ticket to enlarged self-esteem.
And lest you think that this abbreviation doesn’t do justice to the other examples of Hummer owners on offer – Sylvester Stallone and the Governator – consider the fact that years of steroid abuse have surely shriveled their genitalia like raisins. People who really care about self-esteem don’t think it’s measured as the inverse of fuel economy.